I want y'all to meet my Mother. I call her Mama. Her name is Peggy. No, her real name is not Margaret, and Peggy is not a nickname. She is literally Peggy. Peggy Ann. Peggy is the absolute epitome of a Southern Belle. She's Georgia born and raised with a thick Southern drawl that will charm the venom out of the meanest snake. Her nickname is Pegnolia. Which is fitting since she is as southern and grand as a magnolia tree. I would say she's sometimes just as shady but she wouldn't like that. So I'm not saying it.
Pegnolia is a domestic guru. She graduated from the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs) with a degree in Home Economics which means she knows all about meals and sewing and grocery shopping and home management and budgeting and EVERYTHING. When I was growing up my whole family sat down to a hot breakfast at the table every morning at 7:30. As she cooked she listened to the Bill Powell morning show on WMAZ AM radio. I can still hear it to this day. Breakfast was sometimes eggs, bacon, and grits and other times it was pancakes and sausage and then other times it was oatmeal and fruit. I hated oatmeal day. Matter of fact, I don't think anybody else in my family liked it one bit either. Mama tried.
Pegnolia is also really good at similes. It cracks me up. Notice I didn’t write smiles. Similes. Sim-ə-leez. Like in grammar class. Here are three real-life examples of her stellar use of the simile:
“Why, she was grinnin’ like a mule eatin’ briars.”
“Why, isn’t he as handy as a pocket on a shirt?”
“Honey, don’t you know my torn bicep tendon was rolled up like a winda shade. “
She’s The Master at similes and don't try to come at me about it. I know what I'm talking about.
Here's a recent story about Pegnolia - unrelated to similes:
A few years after my parents divorced the infamous Pegnolia met a nice gentleman who became her special friend and companion. He also became a member of our family and we loved him. They were together for over 20 years but, sadly, it ended some years ago. She was sad and we were sad. Well, that nice gentleman passed away this week, and we went to the visitation. Pegnolia was so gracious and classy as she said goodbye once again - this time for the last time. As she stood next to the casket looking at him with gentle and kind eyes, she softly said, "Bless his heart." That was it. Not a tear was shed. Just a peaceful smile. Solid as a rock. Lord, I love that lady. #steelmagnolia
Comments